I am a private person by nature yet love company, I have on many occasions been called an enigma; a chameleon fitting in with the surroundings that I’m in. I am an intense person, throwing myself into whatever project, mission, desire that is current in my life at any given time. I am an impatient person and not good at explaining what I expect from others. I am the sort that would rather do something myself than ask for it to be done.
I have a £80,000 debt that has to be paid by August next year and no way to repay that. Our home will be taken from us.
The debt was incurred as a result of a road traffic accident that was not my fault, but it was my fault when I listened to a solicitor, who said that I would be paid in full for the three and a bit years that I was unable to work.
I wrote a book. People who have read it say that it is a good book, good enough for a film producer to want to make it into a film, but that is a want, a wish, a plan, it is not now. It is not something I can show as evidence of book sales to a bank manager as I plead for more time to make things right with him.
I hear so called ‘friends’ say “I’ve bought your book'” or “I will buy your book.” Why can’t people just be honest and say “I can’t care less.” Is that a lie that they feel better in? I see others on Face Book or Twitter say “I’ve bought so and so’s book,” countless times, naming writer after writer, why? I see the word ‘bestseller’ appended to authors who give their ‘precious’ work away free. I see one author after another giving rave reviews to their friends novel, than expecting the same.
I see that now you can buy reviews that liken the purchasers work to Ulysses or Great Expectations yet with my novel; I have to beg Libraries to offer it.
Is life is a delusion of false people and false sentiments?