I am eleven today, yesterday I was only ten but today is my birthday and I will be eleven years of age. Soon I will be as big as my daddy and I will know all what he knows. I can’t wait for that to happen as he knows everything. He is so strong. I saw him lift this massive piece of wood that I could only move slightly if I pushed really hard.
Hang on a minute though, the other night daddy was crying and his tears woke me. I heard him say to mummy that he had killed a man in a thing called a war. He was really sad and mummy started to cry too. I don’t want to cry when I get older, perhaps there won’t be wars when I’m daddy’s age.
I will grow big and become as tall as my granddad is. He is a huge man with no hair, but he always comes with bags of food for us. He rubs his big fat hands through my hair and picks me up onto his wide shoulders, then pretends to drop me. He is fun to be around, but I think he misses Nan who died last year. He was very sad that day.
Hang on a minute, granddad is not very well so mummy said, and that’s why I haven’t seen him for a while. I overheard mummy saying to the next door neighbour that he is a shadow of what he was, and that he is not expected to live long and will be joining Nan in heaven soon.
I don’t want to kill people and I don’t want to die. I don’t want to be eleven and live a life that is only a lie.
Life is for living not fading away. Life is for living and not regretting a single day.
I DON’T WANT TO GROW-UP.