A Sad Evaluation Of Life.

I am eleven today, yesterday I was only ten but today is my birthday and I will be eleven years of age. Soon I will be as big as my daddy and I will know all what he knows. I can’t wait for that to happen as he knows everything. He is so strong. I saw him lift this massive piece of wood that I could only move slightly if I pushed really hard.

Hang on a minute though, the other night daddy was crying and his tears woke me. I heard him say to mummy that he had killed a man in a thing called a war. He was really sad and mummy started to cry too. I don’t want to cry when I get older, perhaps there won’t be wars when I’m daddy’s age.

I will grow big and become as tall as my granddad is. He is a huge man with no hair, but he always comes with bags of food for us. He rubs his big fat hands through my hair and picks me up onto his wide shoulders, then pretends to drop me. He is fun to be around, but I think he misses Nan who  died last year. He was very sad that day.

Hang on a minute, granddad is not very well so mummy said, and that’s why I haven’t seen him for a while. I overheard mummy saying to the next door neighbour that he is a shadow of what he was, and that he is not expected to live long and will be joining Nan in heaven soon.

I don’t want to kill people and I don’t want to die. I don’t want to be eleven and live a life that is only a lie.

Life is for living not fading away. Life is for living and not regretting a single day.




About Danny Kemp

I was at work one sunny November day in 2006, stopped at a red traffic light when a van, driven incompetently, smashed into me. I was taken to St Thomas' Hospital and kept in for a while, but it was not only the physical injuries that I suffered from; it was also mental ones. I had lost confidence in myself let alone those around me. The experts said that I had post-traumatic stress disorder, which I thought only the military or emergency personnel suffered from. On good days, I attempted to go to work, sometimes I even made it through Blackwell Tunnel only to hear, or see, something that made me jump out of my skin and that's when the anxiety attacks would start. I told my wife that I was okay and going regularly, but I wasn't. I could not cope with life and thought about ending it. Somehow or other with the help of my wife and medical professionals, I managed to survive and ever so slowly rebuild my self-esteem. It took almost four years to fully recover, but it was during those dark depressive days that I began to write. My very first story, Look Both Ways, Then Look Behind, found a literary agent but not a publisher. He told me that I had a talent, raw, but nevertheless, it was there. His advice was to write another story and that I'm delighted to say, I did. The success of that debut novel, The Desolate Garden, was down to sheer hard work, luck, and of course, meeting a film producer.
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One Response to A Sad Evaluation Of Life.

  1. pauliemacca says:

    Neither I am/nor I

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