Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – October 14th 2021 – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp – Recovery Time and Lost in Translation

Another Night of Humour at The Open Mic Night

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

Author Daniel Kemp entertains us again with his funnies from: Danny Kemp.. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary on politicians at home and abroad.

And to finish off….Lost in Translation.

Pay special attention to the wording and spelling. if you know the bible, even a little, you’ll find this hilarious! It comes from a Caithness school test.

Kids were asked questions about the old and new testaments. The following 25 statements about the bible were written by children. They have not been retouched or corrected. Incorrect spelling has been left in.

1. In the first book of the bible, Guinness. god got tired of creating the world so he took the sabbath off.
2. Adam and eve were created from an apple tree. Noah’s wife was Joan of ark. Noah built and ark and the animals came…

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Poems by Phone…because sometimes you need a shot of magic

A Good Idea? What do you think?

BRIDGET WHELAN writer

This is NOT the phone booth…I’m sure they have something much swankier and poetic

I’ve just read that a new bright blue telephone booth has been installed in Dubuque, Iowa to give callers a direct line to poetry.
It is a year long project set up by a local arts group called Voice Productions. You can choose which poem to listen to as there is a directory to consult, but I hope there’s a random option too. I’d use it to discover what kind of day I was going to have.
Real and visceral, like a Sharon Olds poem with pain and beauty threaded through very ordinary things, the way the light in the hall shines through a half open door, a dried fleck of semen.
Or a Byronic day, big and grand and terribly magnificent but not so easy to understand, although perhaps I pretend I can.
Or an…

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Free Kindle Until The 6th October


Provocative. Sensual It’s an extraordinary piece of fiction that could easily be the truth. Amazing how in just a short amount of ‘words’ this author packs a powerhouse of depth! Highly recommended!
Available in English, Portuguese and Italian

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Drama, Erotica, Passion, Suspense

http://mybook.to/WhyDK

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Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – October 1st 2021 – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp – Take the Bus and Wildlife..

A night of laughter and jokes on the Open Mic Night

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

Author Daniel Kemp entertains us again with his funnies from: Danny Kemp.. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary on politicians at home and abroad.

And to finish off….Marriage…

Comparisons…

My missus and I went to the Royal Kent Show and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said “THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR”.

She playfully nudged me in the ribs, smiled, and said ‘He mated 50 times last year, that’s almost once a week.’

We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said “THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR”.

She gave me a healthy jab and said, ‘Wow, that’s more than twice! a week! You could learn a lot from him.’

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finding yourself.

I wish I’d thought of it!

I didn't have my glasses on....

A missing man in Turkey accidentally joined his own search party for hours before realizing he was the person they were looking for, local media reports.

Beyhan Mutlu had been drinking with friends on Tuesday when he wandered into a forest in Bursa province.

When he failed to return, his wife and friends alerted local authorities and a search party was sent out.

Mr Mutlu, 50, then stumbled across the search party and decided to join them, NTV reported.

But when members of the search party began calling out his name, he replied: “I am here.”He was taken aside by one of the rescuer workers to give a statement. “Don’t punish me too harshly, officer. My father will kill me,” he reportedly told them. Police then drove Mr Mutlu home. It is not clear if he was given a fine.

“you cannot find yourself till you lose yourself.”

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Robbie Cheadle Reads Her Poetry from Behind Closed Doors a collection of unusual poems. 

If poetry is for you, then this collection comes with the highest recommendation.

charles french words reading and writing

Please view Robbie Cheadle reading her poem “Do you want it enough” from her book of poetry Behind Closed Doors a collection of unusual poems

I give Robbie Cheadle’s book of poetry Behind Closed Doors a collection of unusual poems my highest recommendation. Robbie Cheadle is an excellent writer of both fiction and poetry, and her work continues to be of the highest quality.

In this collection of poems, Robbie Cheadle deals with a wide variety of issues and uses a variety of forms of poetry, among them Tanka, limericks, and haiku, and she does this with great passion and control of her art. The poetry in her book is powerful, compelling, and evocative.

Several of the poems resonated with me in particular, including “Opportunity”, “Hope”, “Making a splash”, “Perspective”, “Lockdown in poverty”, and “I saw a fish a-swimming”.

Choosing these poems to highlight was difficult, because Robbie’s work…

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Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – September 17th 2021 – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp – #Eyesight and Old Rugby Players

Another night filled with laughter at the Smorgasbord Laughter Lines—- Thank you, Sally!

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

Author Daniel Kemp entertains us again with his funnies from: Danny Kemp.. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary on politicians at home and abroad.

Parent’s worst nightmare

A father passing by his son’s bedroom noticed the room unusually clean and saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, ‘Dad’. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend SENGA from Glasgow because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.

I’ve been finding real passion with Senga. She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is…

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There’s Only One Requirement if You Want to Be A Writer – Stephen King QUOTES FOR WRITERS

If you’re able to persevere past the scars there’s a good chance you’ll find who you are.

BRIDGET WHELAN writer

A little talent is a good thing to have if you want to be a writer. But the only real requirement is the ability to remember every scar.
Stephen King

Photo Credit: Matthew Henry on Unsplash

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Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – September 3rd 2021 – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp – Mistaken Identity and Appropriate Names

A collection of humour on the Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

Author Daniel Kemp entertains us again with his funnies from: Danny Kemp.. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary on politicians at home and abroad.

Interesting perspective

A teacher was giving her Primary pupils a lesson in developing logical thinking.

‘This is the scene’, said the teacher.

‘A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.

His wife hears the commotion, knows he can’t swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?’

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, ‘To draw out all his savings?..
What’s in a Name?

I met a surgeon who named his son Naïf (pronounced Knife). I said what an apt name! Then I came to know…

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BOOKS by James Rebanks,

I found this today written by another writer who I’ve never heard of but then I doubt very much he has heard of me. There is another similarity we share and that’s the love he has for physical books. However, I can only hope that one day I will be as good as he is to express that love.

“When I was a teenager and starting to love books, I was lucky enough to live near a town with a fantastic little indie bookshop. It was called the Bluebell Bookshop and my mum had taken me to it since I was a kid. The folk that owned it were a bit hippy and New Age, and highly suspect to a Cumbrian farmer’s son, but they had amazing taste in books. Someone in the shop used to curate a table with books they thought their readers might like. They had a very clever trick putting books that we probably thought we wanted alongside books they thought we might benefit from reading. It was a quietly radical act that got me reading all sorts of revolutionary books. That bookshop table had a profound impact on me, made me a much wider reader, and eventually helped me become a writer.

Books aren’t just ‘products’ or ‘commodities’ to be bundled onto shelves carelessly, or set out in front of our screen-eyes by algorithms. Books are the result of writers pouring their souls onto the pages, and when it works, and really clicks, those books can change people’s lives. So selling books is one of the most important jobs a human can do, because it is more than commerce. It’s matching people to stories they might need, encouraging people to hear new voices and different ideas, and, through that, playing a little role in changing the world. We still, thankfully, have a few fantastic indies in Cumbria, even though Bluebell Books is now a Costa Coffee, and those indies have helped me to get my books out there into thousands of reader’s hands. I will always be grateful for that. Books should be written, sold and read with love, and when they are there is a kind of magic that lightens up the world a little bit.” James Rebanks, 2021

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