Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – June 11th 2021 – Anniversary Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp – Carbolic Soap and It could be worse

Here’s another bout of laughter delivered to your page.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

Author Daniel Kemp entertains us again with his funnies from: Danny Kemp.. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary on politicians at home and abroad. –

It is a year since Danny began to entertain us and here are some reminders of that year and a couple of great jokes that he has shared recently..

And to finish up…one of Danny’s finest….

There was an old country sheriff who always said, “It could have been worse.”
No matter what happened, the old sheriff always had the same answer: “It could have been worse.”

…One day, two deputies in the Sheriff’s Office answered an emergency call at a farmhouse.

When they walked in, they found the nude bodies of a man and a woman in the bedroom. They had been shot to death.

When they went to the living…

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The Gift

With knowledge intelligence can grow
From intelligence wisdom could flow

With wisdom one could question all that exists
But imagination is the greatest of gifts.

© 2021, Daniel Kemp All rights reserved.

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No Time For Bloody War

In the silence of the shadows

In the deepest grave that’s ever been,

Lived the voice for all reason

In a world nobody has seen.

Memories will be rewritten
With no pain allowed inside.

Tears will be forgotten.
There’s no time for when you cried.

In the valleys deep and darkened

In the nightmares, in the screams

Lives the Devil that needs fighting

Fill those shadows with your dreams.

Memories will be rewritten
With no pain allowed inside.

Tears will be forgotten.
There’s no time for when you cried.

From the dawning of the sunrise

To the dwindling dusk of night.

Think not of inky skies above you

Fill the darkness with your light.

Memories will be rewritten
With no pain allowed inside.

Tears will be forgotten.
There’s no time for when you cried.

In the world that’s been constructed

In a life only you can claim
.
There’s no darkness of the memories,
There are no memories of the shame.

Memories will be rewritten
With no pain allowed inside.

Tears will be forgotten.
There’s no time for when you cried.

Persecution is forbidden

Hypocrisy is no more

Love is forever unchanging

There’s no time for bloody war.

© 2021 Daniel Kemp All rights reserved

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Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – May 28th 2021 – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp – Extra Cash and Army Life

Laughs in the Sun or the Shade.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

Author Daniel Kemp entertains us again with his funnies from: Danny Kemp.. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary on politicians at home and abroad. –

And to finish up…

A letter received by mistake

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am very well, I hope you are too. Tell big brothers Sean, Paddy, and Mick that the Army is better than working on the farm; tell them to get into the Army quick before the jobs are all gone.

I was a bit slow settling down at first because you don’t get out of bed until 6am, but I got used to it and I like sleeping in now. All you do before breakfast is make your bed, shine your boots and clean your uniform.

No cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack, nothing.

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Dark Origins: The Sleeper, a poem by Edgar Allan Poe and my reading

A poetry reading of quality.

Writing to be Read

1849 "Annie" daguerreotype of Poe
Picture of Edgar Allan Poe – Picture credit https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edgar_Allan_Poe

The Sleeper, a poem by Edgar Allan Poe takes as it subject a beautiful woman in death.

     At midnight in the month of June,
     I stand beneath the mystic moon.
     An opiate vapour, dewy, dim,
     Exhales from out her golden rim,
     And, softly dripping, drop by drop,
     Upon the quiet mountain top.
     Steals drowsily and musically
     Into the universal valley.
     The rosemary nods upon the grave;
     The lily lolls upon the wave;
     Wrapping the fog about its breast,
     The ruin moulders into rest;
     Looking like Lethe, see! the lake
     A conscious slumber seems to take,
     And would not, for the world, awake.
     All Beauty sleeps!—and lo! where lies
     (Her easement open to the skies)
     Irene, with her Destinies!

The speaker in the poem begins by describing the cemetery at midnight in the month of June. He observes the moon and notes…

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Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – May 14th 2021 – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp – The Month of May and Chickens

Enjoy some more laughs at an Open Mic Night at Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Café

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

Author Daniel Kemp entertains us again with his funnies from: Danny Kemp.. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary on politicians at home and abroad. –

And to finish up…

Farmer Jack and his Chickens

Farmer Jack once lived on a quiet rural highway, but as time went by, the traffic slowly built up and eventually got so heavy and so fast that his free-range chickens were being run over, at a rate of three to six a week.

So Farmer Jack called the local police station to complain,

“You’ve got to do something about all these people driving so fast and killing all my chickens,” he said to the local police officer.

“What do you want me to do?” asked the policeman.

“I don’t care, just do something about those crazy drivers!”

So the next day the…

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Open Book Blog Hop – Amazing word usages in books

The Brilliance in Simplicity.

Discuss: It never fails to amaze me that ALL the books ever written are made up of just twenty six letters.

When I saw this prompt, my first thought was how amazing the word usage is in some books and how some authors are so extraordinarily talented at weaving the 26 letters available to all of us into the most vivid and memorable descriptions, concepts, and thoughts.

We all have the same tools for writing, 26 letters, its how we string those letters together that makes all the difference. We add other writing tools to these basic building blocks and focus on showing and not telling, dialogue, avoiding filter words, and other learned techniques, but at the end of the day, the quality of our stories boils down to the words on the page.

Some examples of great writing that have remained with me long after I finished reading a…

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Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – April 30th 2021 – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp – Onions and other Favourite Things

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines present another Open Mic Night with — Daniel Kemp

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

Author Daniel Kemp entertains us again with his funnies from: Danny Kemp.. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary on politicians at home and abroad. –

Plus as a special –  two of Danny’s books are FREE until 5th May – links at the bottom of the funnies.

May be an image of text that says "THE RECIPE SAID ΤΟ DICE THE ONION. WENT Το A LOT OF EFFORT BUT I'M PLEASED WITH THE RESULT."May be an image of text that says "9 OUT OF 10 HUSBANDS AGREED THAT THEIR WIVES ARE ALWAYS RIGHT. THE 10TH HUSBAND HASN'T BEEN SEEN SINCE THE STUDY WAS CONDUCTED."May be an image of 1 person and text that says "They're cute and look harmless but they are loud, incredibly expensive to keep, and absolutely untrainable! The other one is a kangaroo. I don't know anything about kangaroos... know"May be an image of textMay be an image of text that says "They say we learn from our mistakes... That's why I'm making as many as possible. I'll soon be a genius!"And to finish up…

Julie Andrews Turning 84-this is hysterical!

To commemorate her birthday, actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan’s Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was My Favorite Things from the legendary movie ‘Sound Of Music’. Here are the lyrics she used:

(Sing It!) – If you sing it, it’s especially hysterical!!!
Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These…

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Two for Nothing

FREE — Both novels in the Heirs and Descendants Series


DESOLATE GARDEN & PERCY CROW are FREE—Until 5th May

Murder Mystery Conspiracy

mybook.to/HeirsandDescendants

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wondrous.

This is REALLY Wondrous

I didn't have my glasses on....

thank you sarah freligh, for your beautiful poem

in this national poetry month and every month. 

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