Two ‘T’s’ and a ‘D.’ Or, Copulation in The New World Order.


Tongue-in-cheek and hopefully amusing enough to bring a smile to your face.

I have been giving some thought again to the practice of some writers in giving away their work as a means of enticing that magical breed of people called ‘readers,’ to pay a financial cost for their subsequent work.

Having accepted this practise to be widespread, I have moved on from, but using, that strategy into another realm of life. Somewhere, perhaps, it could be beneficial to the coming generations of not only readers, but the whole world population. Copulation!

Instead of marriage or, come to that, a living together arrangement, why not a ‘suck it and see’ philosophy.

Here’s my plan.

You, I don’t mean you personally but I’m just using that term loosely, see someone who you, again not personal, want as a partner, and of course it goes without saying they feel the same way about you, so you ‘try’ each other out. We must set a time limit for this, let’s say one month.

During that flirting period, sex and all forms of intimacies must be entered into vigorously with no regard to safety, apart from obvious health issues. This of course is parallel to that first seductive free offer by the crafty writer. However, this first experience, in both cases, might be the only good bit. So caution should be advocated and a somewhat sceptical attitude adopted.

If one finds that part of the budding relationship is in any way dull and predictable, cooking for each other should be the next step. A good fillet steak or something along that line. The second enticement, or freebie. Are you following me? I do hope so.

Washing, ironing and domestic chores could be thrown into the mix by one partner, as a way of special appeal, if things are wavering slightly. Similar, you see, to a third seductive freebie, given by that cunning writer.

Now we arrive at the crunch.

With the writer’s approach of freebies carrying no value, there is no monetary refund the reader is entitled to. If not fully satisfied by what they have experienced, the only thing he, or she, can do is not pay for any future work from the person. They can, and in all probability, simply move on to the next free offer from someone new. Shameful, but such is life in all its variety, taste and capriciousness.

I would not wish to encourage such promiscuous and irresponsible behaviour in any form, in my proposed future human togetherness.

With my proposal, for the next new World Order, which I have named the two T’s and a D: Taste, Try and Discard, there will be an initial non-returnable deposit. Because of this, I hope people will place a value on the interrelationship on which this new World will be based, and have great principles and self-esteem in seeing the association through to an orderly conclusion.


© 2014, Danny Kemp. All rights reserved.




About Danny Kemp

I was at work one sunny November day in 2006, stopped at a red traffic light when a van, driven incompetently, smashed into me. I was taken to St Thomas' Hospital and kept in for a while, but it was not only the physical injuries that I suffered from; it was also mental ones. I had lost confidence in myself let alone those around me. The experts said that I had post-traumatic stress disorder, which I thought only the military or emergency personnel suffered from. On good days, I attempted to go to work, sometimes I even made it through Blackwell Tunnel only to hear, or see, something that made me jump out of my skin and that's when the anxiety attacks would start. I told my wife that I was okay and going regularly, but I wasn't. I could not cope with life and thought about ending it. Somehow or other with the help of my wife and medical professionals, I managed to survive and ever so slowly rebuild my self-esteem. It took almost four years to fully recover, but it was during those dark depressive days that I began to write. My very first story, Look Both Ways, Then Look Behind, found a literary agent but not a publisher. He told me that I had a talent, raw, but nevertheless, it was there. His advice was to write another story and that I'm delighted to say, I did. The success of that debut novel, The Desolate Garden, was down to sheer hard work, luck, and of course, meeting a film producer.
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