If last week you carpeted the ceiling and today you’re painting the floor
Then remember the first rule of decorating; always work towards the door.
I once knew a man who never knew this, and he worked in the opposite way.
He went mad and was locked in an asylum and is still locked in today!
He was found wearing short trousers, gloves on his ears in case of rain.
He told the truth of his predilections and was sectioned as being insane.
If you think you’re insane but don’t know it here’s a test you can try when alone:
Do a crossword when laying in bed then eat the newspaper when sitting on the throne.
If twelve across gets stuck in your gullet and fourteen down is too hard to do,
Then ask a passing policeman if there’s anything he can do for you.
When he hits you on his head with his truncheon and you scream, yell and faint
Then I must tell you that if you have feelings then mad you definitely ain’t!
© 2016, Danny Kemp. All rights reserved.