The man of the house

Hilarious jokes in different categories that should put a smile on your face. Have fun

Doctor Parrot's avatarSKYLINE REPORTS

The husband just finished reading ‘The Man of the House’, a book that teaches men how to impose themselves in their relationship with their wives. He comes straight to his wife and tells her:

“From now on, get in your head, I’m the man in this house and my word is law ! Did you understand ? So I want you to cook dinner, serve me, and then I want something sweet like dessert. After I ate, you go to prepare my bath to relax myself. And after bathing guess who’s dressing me up and drying my hair ?”

His wife says:

“Those from funeral furnishers…”

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Unknown's avatar

About Daniel Kemp

At the age of seventy-six, Daniel Kemp has started his second year of studying the science of Psychology at the Open University. He is a member of The Society of Authors and also a bestselling writer. However, in early September 2025, he was diagnosed with cancer. He is now in palliative care at home, being looked after by his ex-wife. When he was writing his novels, he enjoyed writing stories that appealed to those who liked challenging themselves to solve mysteries that were set out before their eyes, but they couldn't. His introduction to the world of espionage and mystery happened at an early age when his father was employed by the War Office in Whitehall, London, at the end of WWII. However, it wasn’t until after his father died that he showed any interest in anything other than himself! On leaving academia he took on many roles in his working life: a London police officer, mini-cab business owner, pub tenant and licensed London taxi driver, but never did he plan to become a writer. Nevertheless, after a road traffic incident left him suffering from PTSD and effectively—out of paid work for four years, he wrote and self-published his first novel —The Desolate Garden. Within three months of publication, that book was under a paid option to become a $30 million film. The option lasted for six years until distribution became an insurmountable problem for the production company. All ten of his novels are now published by Next Chapter Publishing Company which has added an edition titled The Heirs And Descendants Collection, which holds all four books of that series, alongside an edition titled The Lies And Consequences Collection which contains all four volumes of that series. He is the recipient of rave reviews from a prestigious Manhattan publication and described as—the new Graham Green—by a highly placed executive of Waterstones Books, for whom he did a countrywide tour of book signing events. He has also appeared on 'live' television in the UK publicising his first novel. Less
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4 Responses to The man of the house

  1. Daniel Kemp's avatar Danny Kemp says:

    There’s quite a lot on that blog, Onisha. 🙂

  2. Best male pipe dream I’ve ever read. ☺☺☺☺

  3. Daniel Kemp's avatar Danny Kemp says:

    I wish I wrote it. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

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