The man of the house

Hilarious jokes in different categories that should put a smile on your face. Have fun

SKYLINE REPORTS

The husband just finished reading ‘The Man of the House’, a book that teaches men how to impose themselves in their relationship with their wives. He comes straight to his wife and tells her:

“From now on, get in your head, I’m the man in this house and my word is law ! Did you understand ? So I want you to cook dinner, serve me, and then I want something sweet like dessert. After I ate, you go to prepare my bath to relax myself. And after bathing guess who’s dressing me up and drying my hair ?”

His wife says:

“Those from funeral furnishers…”

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About Danny Kemp

I was at work one sunny November day in 2006, stopped at a red traffic light when a van, driven incompetently, smashed into me. I was taken to St Thomas' Hospital and kept in for a while, but it was not only the physical injuries that I suffered from; it was also mental ones. I had lost confidence in myself let alone those around me. The experts said that I had post-traumatic stress disorder, which I thought only the military or emergency personnel suffered from. On good days, I attempted to go to work, sometimes I even made it through Blackwell Tunnel only to hear, or see, something that made me jump out of my skin and that's when the anxiety attacks would start. I told my wife that I was okay and going regularly, but I wasn't. I could not cope with life and thought about ending it. Somehow or other with the help of my wife and medical professionals, I managed to survive and ever so slowly rebuild my self-esteem. It took almost four years to fully recover, but it was during those dark depressive days that I began to write. My very first story, Look Both Ways, Then Look Behind, found a literary agent but not a publisher. He told me that I had a talent, raw, but nevertheless, it was there. His advice was to write another story and that I'm delighted to say, I did. The success of that debut novel, The Desolate Garden, was down to sheer hard work, luck, and of course, meeting a film producer.
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4 Responses to The man of the house

  1. Danny Kemp says:

    There’s quite a lot on that blog, Onisha. 🙂

  2. Best male pipe dream I’ve ever read. ☺☺☺☺

  3. Danny Kemp says:

    I wish I wrote it. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

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