T’was a ghostly crackle that crackled loud in the night.
T’was an eerie crackle that caused all the fright.
But when the chilling crackle ceased to crackle in the light,
That was the time when the blood-curdling crackle gave rise to their plight.
Searching they went down the crackles path
Then inside a darkened tunnel, they heard a crackling laugh.
So when the crackle appeared at its crackling worse
Some of our brave young trackers were carried away in a horse-drawn hearse.
Are the trackers finished in a crackles shrewish way?
Or will we see the trackers appear on another crackling day?
Meanwhile, if the crackle crackles down a street in your block
I suggest you stay inside and all your doors and windows you do lock.
Never mess with a crackle when its crackle has been on show.
If you venture into your garden please check in your hedgerow
If the crackle lands and crackles on your head,
Don’t worry unduly as shortly you’ll be dead.
But hark ye who live down in crackle land
There is more to the evil crackle I feel I can now expand
Crackles can die! Oh yes they can and what’s more— they do
Please, take a comfy seat while I explain it all to you.
Tie the crackle down whilst he doth sleep
Do this with a rope that’s fine, never use a rope that’s cheap.
Before he fully wakes force raw garlic down his throat
And believe me, for that treatment there is no antidote!
You can if you feel lucky roast the crackle over an open fire
While you are still hungry and the garlic is exciting all that you desire
Don’t breathe on your partner who may have desires of her own
And I suggest you don’t roast crackles whilst you are at home!
© 2023 Daniel Kemp All rights reserved
About Daniel Kemp
At the age of seventy-six, Daniel Kemp has started his second year of studying the science of Psychology at the Open University. He is a member of The Society of Authors and also a bestselling writer. However, in early September 2025, he was diagnosed with cancer. He is now in palliative care at home, being looked after by his ex-wife. When he was writing his novels, he enjoyed writing stories that appealed to those who liked challenging themselves to solve mysteries that were set out before their eyes, but they couldn't.
His introduction to the world of espionage and mystery happened at an early age when his father was employed by the War Office in Whitehall, London, at the end of WWII. However, it wasn’t until after his father died that he showed any interest in anything other than himself!
On leaving academia he took on many roles in his working life: a London police officer, mini-cab business owner, pub tenant and licensed London taxi driver, but never did he plan to become a writer. Nevertheless, after a road traffic incident left him suffering from PTSD and effectively—out of paid work for four years, he wrote and self-published his first novel —The Desolate Garden.
Within three months of publication, that book was under a paid option to become a $30 million film. The option lasted for six years until distribution became an insurmountable problem for the production company.
All ten of his novels are now published by Next Chapter Publishing Company which has added an edition titled The Heirs And Descendants Collection, which holds all four books of that series, alongside an edition titled The Lies And Consequences Collection which contains all four volumes of that series.
He is the recipient of rave reviews from a prestigious Manhattan publication and described as—the new Graham Green—by a highly placed executive of Waterstones Books, for whom he did a countrywide tour of book signing events. He has also appeared on 'live' television in the UK publicising his first novel.
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Oh, dear! 🙂
Great poem, Danny. I read it in one gulp, garlic and all 🙂
You’re very brave, Patricia.
Hi Danny, what a great poem. It gave me a good laugh.
Thank you, Robbie. I’m pleased it made you laugh.
Thank you for sharing your talent with us, and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.
You are more than welcome. Thank you for reading it.
Nice one.
Thank you kindly, Sir.