What politics means

Just too funny.

 

Doctor Parrot's avatarSKYLINE REPORTS

Little Dicky asks his father what politics means. His father climbs him on his knees and explains it by giving an example:

“Listen carefully, kid ! I earn money, so I am the CAPITALISM. Your mother takes care of the money, so she is the GOVERNMENT. Your grandfather takes care that everything is okay, so he’s the SYNDICATE. The maid is the WORKING CLASS and we all work for you, the PEOPLE, so that you feel good and don’t miss anything. And your baby brother is our common FUTURE.

The kid keeps everything he heard and goes to bed. At midnight he wakes up because his baby brother made a shit in his diaper and cry. Dicky goes to wake up his mother, but she sleeps so deep that he did not succeed. He went to tell the maid, but his father was playing with her in bed while his…

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Untitled

A New Novel One Coming?

Have you noticed that no matter how much the sea changes from mountainous storm waves to the friendly calmness that could bore the bones from the loudest voice on the beach, it always returns to the monotonous hollow sound that echoes as if death is waiting below? And yet the waves that day carried only three bodies ashore instead of the whole population who were the walking equivalent of an emotionless ant hill that an Aardvark would turn his snout up at!
© 2017 Danny Kemp

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The Desolate Garden

Click the link to read part of this book….A bestseller in Russian Literature.

http://askdavid.com/reviews/book/spy-novel/15432

 

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What is your expectancy?

Lovely thought

Onisha Ellis's avatarOld Things R New

From the Heart

Louise Gibson

author of Window Wonders

God will prepare everything for our perfect
happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dogs
being there, I believe they will be there.

Billy Graham

Corky and Angel are my little feline friends,
A gift from my Lord above.
They are my constant companions.
They fill my heart with love.

Family and friends are a gift from above.
God knows how important it is to love.
To love and be loved is our basic need
On this one fact we are all agreed.

Thank you, dear Lord, for your tender care.
I see you in people I meet everywhere.
One fact I have come to accept as true.
“Lord, I owe my life, my dreams to you.

You have blessed me with three great children
that I love and wish the best for.
Lord, thank you for your promises.
You are the one we…

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Road Trip~ Florence, Alabama

This gallery contains 5 photos.

Originally posted on Old Things R New:
On the Porch Onisha Ellis ? September 7, 2017 as Hurricane Irma churned her way across the Caribbean and the Atlantic ocean, we left our home in Western North Carolina for a three-week…

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An interview

Author Interview with Daniel Kemp

Daniel Kemp

Author Interview with Daniel Kemp

Hi Danny. Thanks for taking time to visit my blog. You’re a new author to Creativia, so I’m gonna to be nosey.  Smile 

Who is — Daniel Kemp?  What inspired you to start writing?

I had a car accident in 2006, not my fault, that put me out of effective work for four years, that’s when I started. I wrote a story, sent a synopsis with the first three chapters to about one hundred literary agents, sat back and waited for the phone to ring. It didn’t, until— one did ring. He sent those chapters off to the top fifteen agencies in the world, but, surprisingly, (English humor) nobody wanted it. He said write another one. I did!

That book; The Desolate Garden, was picked up by a film producer and off I went on a rocket to the second star to the right and back again. I was invited everywhere, including ‘live’ television and book signings all over the country. Distribution finally killed the dream of seeing— Based on a Book By Daniel Kemp as a credit on the big screen. No matter, it had been great for the five years it lasted.

The Desolate Garden

What is your favorite book you have written and why?

This does change depending on all manner of things. Personally, I think it takes something different in the mindset to write a compelling short story rather than a well researched 100,000-word novel. Both require the person who reads it to connect with the characters and the story, but the novella has to do this in an idiosyncratic way. The essence of the novella comes from the dialogue or the mannerisms of the characters. I have written two novellas. One titled A Shudder From Heaven, the other Why? Both of these come into that category of a favorite.

What are the best and the worst aspects of writing?

As to there being bad aspects, I think that depends on what one expects from writing. For me there is none. I write because I love it, enjoy it, and wouldn’t know what to do if I couldn’t. But if recognition from a wider audience than the one being reached is an aspiration then bad reviews become important, as do sales figures and marketing techniques.

Everyone who writes wants to be read. That’s the idea when one selects a blank sheet of paper. I can remember how I felt when I first saw a book of mine being selected from a shelf in one of Waterstones bookshops. Fantastic feeling and somewhat bizarre to think my work was going to achieve that status of being read. The same experience is felt when someone on a social channel declares they have one on order or have bought a book. I have in the past sent signed copies to different parts of the world, that’s an even better feeling. So after praising so many self-centered reasons to write, I think it would be callous to say there were bad aspects.

How do you balance marketing one book and writing the next?

I don’t; I hate marketing. I find Twitter to be tedious and time-consuming. I take breaks from it for months to write. So I’m not the one to ask as really I guess I’m useless at that part of a writer’s life.

Are you an Indie Author or are you part of a publishing house?

I did self-publish, but now Creativia publishes my work.

What do you enjoy most about being an author?

Living in the world I create by being all the characters in the story.

Do you read books in the genres you write?

I have recently finished John Le Carré’s latest, A Legacy of Spies. I have read most of his work.

When you are not writing, what do you do to recharge?

This is a tough one as I’m always either writing or thinking about what to write. I have at the moment written four main novels, two novellas, one collection of three short stories and three children’s stories. I don’t intend to do any more children’s books, but I am writing something at the moment and would like to do at least one more main novel.

Besides being an author, do you have a second job?

No, I’m retired from paid work.

What makes you laugh?

Silly things! People who can laugh at themselves, have fun and enjoy life. I laugh at myself quite a bit. I dislike those who continually moan.

What (not who) would you like to take to a lonely island?

Barbed wire to stop anyone else landing!

Who would you like to invite for dinner?

A great cook.

It’s time to meet one of your characters.  Which book is your character from?

The Story That Had No Beginning

Who are you?  

 

I, and my dead twin brother are the main characters in the story that Daniel Kemp is telling. 

What is your name?

Originally my name was Alice Collins, but I changed that to Alicia Collins when I ran away.

Are you a fictional or historical character?

I’m not sure if I should be offended by this question. I exist in the life inside this story, and it’s a current account, so I’m certainly not historical, neither will I get hysterical about answering it. However, it seems superfluous as the story is both fictional and historical with me being the only truth in the whole composition. I can’t quite work out if I’m a nice person or a bad one, as this DK has not finished with me yet.

What should we know about you?

I was born an hour or so before my brother in Alice Street near Tower Bridge in London. I was named Alice after the street, and my brother was named Tom as our Mum was ill all the time; Tom and Dick being cockney rhyming slang for Sick. You see our Mum and Dad had no imagination. Both our parents died when we were eight. I’ll skip the bits that Daniel Kemp makes up about me until he has me meeting Mary O’Donnell, a hedge fund manager and obscenely rich. That’s when things get going!

Tell us about your story:  When and where is your tale set?

The opening chapter is set at a dinner party held at my partner’s house, overlooking the Thames in Chelsea. There are four of us at the table. I ask if lying is endemic in the world today. There is a motive behind my question, of course, and it’s really not that nice, but if I were to tell you, Daniel, my hero as a writer (I had to say that) would probably kill me off on the next page. So, I’m sorry, you’ll have to read it to know.

Anyway, I’m a world-famous photographer, my partner is a Queen’s Councillor, a barrister by any other name, Susan, who is with her partner, Marcus, is a newspaper editor and Marcus owns a string of nightclubs. He is a crook who wears a smirk most of the time. Susan used to live with his father. His father had an affair with Susan’s husband. Talk about confusing, or what! This author has a very strange mind.

Just to add to the perplexity of it all; Mary had a thing with Marcus which Susan knew about, but Mary’s dead, so that doesn’t matter, well, it does to Mary, but no one else apart from me, as she was a good friend who left all her money, along with the house here in the City of London and another house on the coast of Ireland, to me. I never have to take a photograph again, but I don’t know if I do, as Daniel is busy reading all his other books for a Miika Hannila, a publisher, and is not writing about me!

Although, as I’ve said this chap Kemp is writing the tale it’s my dead brother who is telling it. Yes, I realize that sounds a bit odd, but he, Tom that is, has this ability to read my mind and the situations I was enveloped in. I never met my brother after we went our different way, but I was told he’d changed his name after serving several terms in prison for violent crimes. All three of the dinner guest have met him. None of them knew who he was.

What is your personal goal? I mean, what do you ultimately want?

Hmm, good question! I want to hold on to the position I have in life. That’s my most important wish. It would kill me to go back to the way of life my parents lived. I’m respected and admired for my art. I’m drawing and painting again. Something I trained for and have a talent for. If the truth was to emerge about what I’ve done, I doubt if I could hold my head up in public ever again.

What is standing in your way? What conflict(s) do you face?

Disgrace!

 

How do I get a copy of your book?  Is it available now or when can we expect to see it released?

It is not available yet. Mr Kemp is too interested in his other work. But I’ll keep nagging away at him from the file that sits in the center of his computer screen.

Thank you so much, Daniel and Alicia, for being in the limelight.  How can readers connect with you?

Twitter: https://twitter.com/danielkemp6

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dannyandpatkemp

Blog: https://theauthordannykemp.com/

Amazon Author Page: This is still under construction…

https://www.amazon.com/Daniel-Kemp/e/B075XRTBRP/ref=dp_byline_cont_ebooks_1

 

 

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A jealous woman

Doctor Parrot's avatarSKYLINE REPORTS

We recently received an email from a reader of our blog asking for help from Dr. Parrot in a matter with her husband:

“Dear Dr. Parrot,

Last week I left for work leaving my husband in front of the TV. I got into the car and left, but after less than a mile some strange engine noises began to sound and I had to stop the car on the roadside. I returned home walking on foot as quickly as possible to ask my husband to help me.

I found my husband in the bedroom with our neighbors’ daughter. I am 32 years old, my husband is 34 and the chick is 22. We have been married for 10 years. You realize that we have quarreled, because he confessed to me that he has a relationship with that bitch for about six months.

My husband told me he was fired and…

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The Desolate Garden

Number three in Russian Literature.

http://mybook.to/DesolateGarden

 

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The man of the house

Hilarious jokes in different categories that should put a smile on your face. Have fun

Doctor Parrot's avatarSKYLINE REPORTS

The husband just finished reading ‘The Man of the House’, a book that teaches men how to impose themselves in their relationship with their wives. He comes straight to his wife and tells her:

“From now on, get in your head, I’m the man in this house and my word is law ! Did you understand ? So I want you to cook dinner, serve me, and then I want something sweet like dessert. After I ate, you go to prepare my bath to relax myself. And after bathing guess who’s dressing me up and drying my hair ?”

His wife says:

“Those from funeral furnishers…”

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The New Me

As a result of a publishing contract I recently signed, I am no longer Danny Kemp. My name is now Daniel; the name I was baptised with. All my books are being re-edited, re proofread, reformatted and all the covers are being changed. This takes a considerable time, but on the good side, my first novel is back on the market as is my newest, never before seen!

The Desolate Garden, my debut novel.

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Once I Was A Soldier, Brand Spanking New….

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