Daniel Kemp

Author Daniel Kemp entertains us again with his funnies from: Danny Kemp.. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary on politicians at home and abroad.

Confessional

“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.”
The priest asks, “Is that you, little Joey Pagano?”
“Yes, Father, it is.”
“And who was the girl you were with?”
“I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”
“Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?”
“I cannot say.”
“Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?”
“I’ll never tell.”
“Was it Nina Capelli?”
“I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.”
“Was it Cathy Piriano?”
“My lips are sealed.”
“Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?”
“Please, Father! I cannot tell you.”
The…

Author Daniel Kemp entertains us again with his funnies from: Danny Kemp.. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary on politicians at home and abroad.

By Royal Appointment

Two Aussie outback chaps, Bluey and Curly, see some jobs advertised by the Queen looking for footmen, to walk along beside her carriage.

Bluey says “Hey, we’d be set for life if we snatched them jobs, eh Curley ?”
So they decided to apply.

They eventually get flown over to London and have a direct interview with Her Majesty.

The Queen says to them “Because my footmen must wear small shoes and long white stockings, I must see your ankles, to be sure they are not swollen or misshapen, as it is very important that they look right.”

After they show her their ankles and she is satisfied that they…

Author Daniel Kemp entertains us again with his funnies from: Danny Kemp.. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary on politicians at home and abroad.

And to finish up…

Technical issues

So, Peter finds that his printer is giving faded prints and he takes it to a local repair store dealing in computers and printers.

The friendly assistant at the counter tells Peter that the printer probably only needs to be cleaned.

The counter assistant continues and says, “The store charged £30 for such services, so, it would be a better idea for you to read the printer’s manual and try doing the job yourself.”

Pleasantly surprised by his openness, Peter asks, “Is your boss aware that you discourage business?”

The assistant replies, “Actually it’s my boss’s idea,”

“To be honest, we make a lot more money on…

Author Daniel Kemp entertains us again with his funnies from: Danny Kemp.. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary on politicians at home and abroad.

And to finish up…

A man was riding his Harley along a California highway when suddenly the sky cleared above his head and in a booming voice, the Lord said: ‘Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.’

The biker pulled over and said, ‘Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.’

The Lord said, ‘Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required will have to reach the bottom of the Pacific, and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can…

Author Daniel Kemp entertains us again with his funnies from: Danny Kemp.. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary on politicians at home and abroad. –

It is a year since Danny began to entertain us and here are some reminders of that year and a couple of great jokes that he has shared recently..

And to finish up…one of Danny’s finest….

There was an old country sheriff who always said, “It could have been worse.”
No matter what happened, the old sheriff always had the same answer: “It could have been worse.”

…One day, two deputies in the Sheriff’s Office answered an emergency call at a farmhouse.

When they walked in, they found the nude bodies of a man and a woman in the bedroom. They had been shot to death.

When they went to the living…

Author Daniel Kemp entertains us again with his funnies from: Danny Kemp.. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary on politicians at home and abroad. –

And to finish up…

A letter received by mistake

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am very well, I hope you are too. Tell big brothers Sean, Paddy, and Mick that the Army is better than working on the farm; tell them to get into the Army quick before the jobs are all gone.

I was a bit slow settling down at first because you don’t get out of bed until 6am, but I got used to it and I like sleeping in now. All you do before breakfast is make your bed, shine your boots and clean your uniform.

No cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack, nothing.