“Where are we going Piglet?” asked Pooh.
“We need to get supplies,” said Piglet. “For the Coronavirus”
“Ahh,” said Pooh, nodding in understanding. “Things like bread, milk, cough mixture, tissues, and cat litter even though we don’t have a cat?”
Piglet did a little laugh and a sort of leap and bit of a cough. “No,” said Piglet. “No, those aren’t the sort of supplies we need at all! What we need are family-sized bags of chocolate buttons, massive toblerone, jelly babies and crunchies and a freezer full of stuffed crust pizzas, and all of the Prosecco that we can possibly carry, so that when we get quarantined we won’t mind it even slightly. Plus of course, frozen chips for Danny Kemp if he comes round and if he doesn’t, then we can have them. THOSE are supplies.”
All of a sudden, Pooh thought that the idea of coronavirus didn’t seem quite so bad, and actually, getting quarantined with Piglet and their supplies really didn’t sound such a terrible thing after all. “Oh Piglet,” said Pooh. “I really do think you are a very wise animal.”