Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – July 31st 2020- Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp

A small collection of jokes generously put together by Sally Cronin at Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

Author Daniel Kemp keeps us entertained daily on Facebook with his witty jokes and funny images.. by popular request he has agreed to do another open mic night for us here today.

Memory loss

Don’t let them take the temperature on your forehead as you enter the supermarket, because it erases your memory. I went for a bottle of milk and bread and came home with a case of lager and a bottle of wine.

Best seats in the house

An usher at a movie theatre notices a customer laying across three seats near the back of the theatre.

He tells the customer that he can only take up one seat. The customer justs moans and rolls his eyes.

The usher goes to get his supervisor who also tells the customer he must only take one seat or he will call the police. Once again the customer justs moans and…

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About Daniel Kemp

Daniel Kemp is a member of The Society of Authors. His introduction to the world of espionage and mystery happened at an early age when his father was employed by the War Office in Whitehall, London, at the end of WWII. However, it wasn’t until after his father died that he showed any interest in anything other than himself! On leaving academia he took on many roles in his working life: a London police officer, mini-cab business owner, pub tenant and licensed London taxi driver, but never did he plan to become a writer. Nevertheless, after a road traffic accident left him suffering from PTSD and effectively—out of paid work for four years, he wrote and self-published his first novel —The Desolate Garden. Within three months of publication, that book was under a paid option to become a $30 million film. The option lasted for five years until distribution became an insurmountable problem for the production company. All ten of his novels are now published by CNext Chapter with the tenth novel being a two-part ending to the Heirs and Descendants Series. A Covenant of Spies completed the four-book series alongside: What Happened In Vienna, Jack? Once I Was A Soldier and A Widow's Son. Under the Creativia publishing banner, The Desolate Garden went on to become a bestselling novel in World and Russian Literature in 2017. The following year, in May 2018, his book What Happened In Vienna, Jack? was a number-one bestseller on four separate Amazon sites: America, the UK, Canada, and Australia. Although it's true to say that he mainly concentrates on what he knows most about; murders laced by the mystery involving spies, his diverse experience of life shows in the two novellas he wrote, namely: Why? A Complicated Love, and the intriguing story titled--The Story That Had No Beginning. He is the recipient of rave reviews from a prestigious Manhattan publication and described as—the new Graham Green—by a highly placed employee of Waterstones Books, for whom he did a countrywide tour of book signing events. He has also appeared on 'live' television in the UK publicising his first novel. There is no morality to be found in evil. But to recognise that which is truly evil one must forget the rules of morality. Amazon Author Page https://www.amazon.co.uk/Daniel-Kemp/... He is fond of writing Quotes and a collection of his can be found here--- https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/list/72612151
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4 Responses to Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – July 31st 2020- Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp

  1. Thank you Danny for some excellent foraging…delighted to share and they are always much enjoyed.. have a good weekend..hugsxx

  2. Daniel Kemp says:

    Thank you for putting it all together, Sally 🙂

  3. A very entertaining post, Danny.

  4. Daniel Kemp says:

    Thanks, Robbie. 😛 🙂 😛

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