Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – July 31st 2020- Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp

A small collection of jokes generously put together by Sally Cronin at Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra

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Author Daniel Kemp keeps us entertained daily on Facebook with his witty jokes and funny images.. by popular request he has agreed to do another open mic night for us here today.

Memory loss

Don’t let them take the temperature on your forehead as you enter the supermarket, because it erases your memory. I went for a bottle of milk and bread and came home with a case of lager and a bottle of wine.

Best seats in the house

An usher at a movie theatre notices a customer laying across three seats near the back of the theatre.

He tells the customer that he can only take up one seat. The customer justs moans and rolls his eyes.

The usher goes to get his supervisor who also tells the customer he must only take one seat or he will call the police. Once again the customer justs moans and…

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About Daniel Kemp

At the age of seventy-six, Daniel Kemp has started his second year of studying the science of Psychology at the Open University. He is a member of The Society of Authors and also a bestselling writer. However, in early September 2025, he was diagnosed with cancer. He is now in palliative care at home, being looked after by his ex-wife. When he was writing his novels, he enjoyed writing stories that appealed to those who liked challenging themselves to solve mysteries that were set out before their eyes, but they couldn't. His introduction to the world of espionage and mystery happened at an early age when his father was employed by the War Office in Whitehall, London, at the end of WWII. However, it wasn’t until after his father died that he showed any interest in anything other than himself! On leaving academia he took on many roles in his working life: a London police officer, mini-cab business owner, pub tenant and licensed London taxi driver, but never did he plan to become a writer. Nevertheless, after a road traffic incident left him suffering from PTSD and effectively—out of paid work for four years, he wrote and self-published his first novel —The Desolate Garden. Within three months of publication, that book was under a paid option to become a $30 million film. The option lasted for six years until distribution became an insurmountable problem for the production company. All ten of his novels are now published by Next Chapter Publishing Company which has added an edition titled The Heirs And Descendants Collection, which holds all four books of that series, alongside an edition titled The Lies And Consequences Collection which contains all four volumes of that series. He is the recipient of rave reviews from a prestigious Manhattan publication and described as—the new Graham Green—by a highly placed executive of Waterstones Books, for whom he did a countrywide tour of book signing events. He has also appeared on 'live' television in the UK publicising his first novel. Less
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4 Responses to Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – July 31st 2020- Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp

  1. Thank you Danny for some excellent foraging…delighted to share and they are always much enjoyed.. have a good weekend..hugsxx

  2. Daniel Kemp's avatar Daniel Kemp says:

    Thank you for putting it all together, Sally 🙂

  3. A very entertaining post, Danny.

  4. Daniel Kemp's avatar Daniel Kemp says:

    Thanks, Robbie. 😛 🙂 😛

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