Daniel Kemp

Author Daniel Kemp entertains us again with his funnies from: Danny Kemp  .. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary on politicians at home and abroad.

About an hour ago I ran into the pub and shouted to my mate. “Dave! I’ve just seen your car being stolen.”
He said, “Didn’t you try to stop them?”
I said, “No, but don’t worry. I got the registration.”

There is to be no Nativity this year because the three Wise Men face a travel ban. The shepherds have been furloughed. The Innkeeper has shut under tier 3 regulations and had a slump in bookings. Santa won’t be working as he would break the rule of 6 with Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Donner and Blitzen. As for Rudolph, with that red nose, he should be isolating and taking a test

Just after the maid had been fired, she took five quid from her purse and handed it to Fido the family dog.

Author Daniel Kemp entertains us again with his funnies from: Danny Kemp  .. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary on politicians at home and abroad.

I went to the doctors yesterday. I told him that I was hearing music all the time in my hat. He asked me to give him the hat. I did and he fiddled about with it, gave it back to me, and told me to put it on. I did and the music had gone! I said “that’s amazing! What did you do?” He said, “Easy! I removed the band!”

A Greek and an Irishman were sitting in a Starbucks one day comparing their two cultures. Over a double latte, the Greek mentions, “You may recall that we built the Pantheon, along with the Temple of Apollo”.

“Well, it was the Irish…

I’ve said now, one or two times, that I’m coming back and I am . . . but I wasn’t coming back today.

Today, because ‘he’ is out all day, I’d planned to do something with yeast. Nothing weird you understand, I haven’t sunk quite that low yet and even if I had I wouldn’t know where to start . . . I mean, who would? Though, Google probably would. Just a thought.

Anyway, the plan was still fresh in my mind as I manoeuvred my painful hip from my pit and wobbled to the bathroom.

It was there, in the bathroom, that all plans fell apart.

I sneaked the bathroom scales slowly towards me with my big toe and stepped on and it was at that point that I realised I would not be doing something with yeast until possibly 2022?

First, I haven’t the faintest idea where 5…

Normally I would refer to Seasonal Affective Disorder in February as the winter months take their toll on our physical, mental and emotional health. However, reading the various reports in the media on Vitamin D Deficiency being one of the causes for susceptibility to Covid-19 and raised concerns on the levels of mental health issues including depression, the comments from readers who are experiencing lack of energy and focus, I began to see some parallels to SAD, but six months ahead of schedule.

In the previous posts I covered some of the causes of SAD, how to get sufficient Vitamin D and Tryptophan and the foods to include on a daily basis to help reduce the likelihood of deficiency.

To help you make sure that you have a diet rich in nutrients to give your body the boost it needs here is a link to a comprehensive shopping list that…

AuthorDaniel Kemp entertains us again with his funnies from: Danny Kemp  .. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary.

More Work Jokes

Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.

Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push.

Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster with more energy!

I never minded going to work, it was the 8-hour wait to go home I couldn’t stand.

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.

Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

A committee is twelve men doing the work of one.

If everything…

Hi and “WELCOME” toRave Reviews Book Club’s BOOK, BLOG & TRAILER BLOCK PARTYatWatch Nonnie Write!

Giveaways

Here’s What I’m Giving Away Today:

One (1) $25 Amazon Gift Card

One (1) ebook copy of Open a new door – poetry book

**Additionally, the book club is awarding a $50 Amazon gift card as the Grand Prize to one lucky winner (pulled from the comments of all the participating blog sites). The blog tour is scheduled for 25 different stops during the month of October. Visit the club’s twitter page Rave Reviews Book Club daily during the month for the link to the next author blog stop.

About Robbie’s Inspiration

Robbie’s Inspiration is the blog I use for my fondant and cake art, recipes, poetry and to promote my children’s books, the Sir Chocolate Books series, Silly Willy Goes to Cape Town and While the Bombs…

Time changes. And so do we. And with that, things we do change too. With the advancement of technology, everything is different today! Let’s check out some of them.