Daniel Kemp

Shame! Humiliation! A Torrent of rage! Brighton’s Regency Housekeeper advises on false teeth and pig iron in the soul…

Posted on January 26, 2021 by Daniel Kemp

The Scandal With False Teeth

Yes! Mrs Finnegan is a REKNOWN Authority on the AFFAIRS OF THE HEART in addition to being housekeeper of The Regency Town House, but she can also advise on PRACTICAL concerns. This week a woman in need of a tooth seeks her advice as does a young woman who casts a bitter eye upon the world…

I want to complain in the bitterest of terms about a man I had the misfortune of meeting only last week. He claimed that he would cure my aching tooth in time for me to attend a private lunch with some very important friends. Instead he pushed and poked and prodded and finally pulled out the finest of my front teeth.

He charged me several shillings and said for a few more he could fit me with a nice new tooth made of wood. I am distraught: I missed my lunch and…

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The Horror! THE HORROR! A Writing Exercise on How to Scare Readers

Posted on January 23, 2021 by Daniel Kemp

I don’t deliberately write anything to terrorise, but if you do then you may find this to be very instructive.

BRIDGET WHELAN writer

(Horror fiction) shows us that the control we believe we have is purely illusory, and that every moment we teeter on chaos and oblivion – Clive Barker

EVERY SATURDAY for the month of January I’ve shared exercises from my popular writing guideBack To Creative Writing School. This is the last one and it’s an extract from a much longer exercise in the book. I hope you…well, perhaps enjoy isn’t quite the right word.

Karl Albrecht writing in Psychology Today in March 2012 described five basic fears from which all our other fears stem.

Extinction – fear of annihilation, of ceasing to exist. The most basic and the most universal, but it also includes a range of more specific fears, such as a fear of heights.

Mutilation – including the fear of being invaded, taken over. It also includes phobias about animals and insects.

Loss of Autonomy – fear…

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Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – January 22nd 2021 – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp – Selfies and Jigsaws

Posted on January 23, 2021 by Daniel Kemp

Have a smile and a laugh with the Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra

Posted in Author/Writer, Raconteur | Tagged age, blog, BLOGGERS, extra, FaceBook, Fun, happy, Jokes, laughter, old, smile | 5 Comments

Guest Author: Sally Cronin: The Sewing Gene

Posted on January 14, 2021 by Daniel Kemp

Lovely reading material.

Sue Vincent's Daily Echo

It is lovely to have Sally Cronin as my guest today to bring back memories. As I have, like my grandmother, always ‘sewn with burnt thread’ as the saying goes, my dressmaking skills are minimal… although I always loved embroidery which I learned from my great grandmother.

Thanks Sue for your kind invitation to share some family history and also news of my latest collection of stories.

The Sewing Gene

My Grandmother – Georgina

They say that certain talents run in families, and whilst perhaps not genetically passed on through the generations, there is certainly reason to believe that skills passed from parent to child across hundreds of years will be carried forward.

In our family there definitely seems to be a tendency towards sewing crafts, in particular dressmaking, and it was this family trait that I used to embroider the story The Wedding Day in my new collection.

The…

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Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – January 8th 2021 – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp – Poachers and Retirement speeches…

Posted on January 8, 2021 by Daniel Kemp

I have the mic over at the Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra presented by Sally Cronin.

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Whilst I slept

Posted on December 28, 2020 by Daniel Kemp

Whilst I Slept

Whilst I slept I dreamt of a place,
Where the only words spoken were of forgiveness and grace.
A calmness overtook me, pervading all thought,
I slept deeper, and with more determination that place I sought.

An unfathomable scene was beginning to unfold,
When all of a sudden my body shivered in an unfamiliar cold.
Just at that moment when all started to become clear,
I awoke with a shuddering, my eyes awash with a tear.

What had been shown to me, in that window of time,
Was a glimpse of a Heaven that can never be mine.
This place exists. That I believe to be true.
The gates will not open for me but they may for you.

Posted in Author/Writer, Raconteur | Tagged anxiety, Belief, blog, BLOGGERS, dreams, God, heaven, nightmares, quiet, Shivers, sleep | 12 Comments

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Christmas Music with William Price King – A Selection of Favourite Carols

Posted on December 23, 2020 by Daniel Kemp

These wonderful carols were selected by a man who has lived a far from mundane life.

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A Helicopter Ride

Posted on December 19, 2020 by Daniel Kemp

A Helicopter Ride

I hitched a ride on a helicopter to the moon and back
I looked at the earth and the earth was flat.
I asked a passing Martian if she knew the way,
She said, “sure man, sure. If I can play.”

We went to Saturn and we stole a ring.
We met Bob Dylan and we began to sing.
‘Take me high as a kite, hide the smoke underneath.
Ride the lacquered carriage wearing the bridal wreath.’

The vicar said the words and the truth was told,
An artist has a duty to stay warm, not cold.
A fire reached the moon and we fell to the ground.
Belief caved in with an almighty sound.

Breathing was a problem as the air smelled bad
There were tears in the sky because God was sad.
An albatross flew past, I couldn’t see where it went.
I pulled the elastic band and began the descent.

Paradise was open and a hand popped out,
A finger pointed the way but a sign said—Drought!
Happiness has no punishment, laughter has no gain.
Lies finished the partnership, but honesty ended the pain.

Posted in Author/Writer, Raconteur | Tagged blog, BLOGGERS, Demons, Dylan, fly, Fun, God, heaven, Helicopter, madness, marriage, Martian, moon, planes, players, poems, sanity, Saturn, smoke, song, space, truth | 2 Comments

Smorgasbord Cafe and Bookstore – Christmas Book Fair – New Books – #FranceWWII Paulette Mahurin, #Fantasy Heather Kindt, #Reviews – #Pre-Historic Jacqui Murray, #Thriller Daniel Kemp, #Paranormal Cecilia Kennedy

Posted on December 17, 2020 by Daniel Kemp

I’m honoured to be included amongst such talent.

Posted in Author/Writer, Raconteur | 2 Comments

Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – December 11th 2020 – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp – Tier 2 and Decorations.

Posted on December 12, 2020 by Daniel Kemp

Another round of laughs served up by Sally Cronin and her Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra—- Thank you, Sally 🙂

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

Author Daniel Kemp entertains us again with his funnies from: Danny Kemp .. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary on politicians at home and abroad.

For those of you who are placing Christmas lights/decorations in your garden, can you please avoid anything that has Red or Blue flashing lights together?

Every time we come around the corner in the car we think it’s the police and we have a panic attack.

We have to brake hard, I have to toss my gin out the window, hide the weed, fasten our seat belts, throw our phones on the floor, turn our radio down, and hide the gun under the seat, all while trying to drive.

It’s just too much drama, even for Christmas. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.